Congratulations!

Today is the last day of term and we designed a Christmas Card with your scan photo in it as a way of announcing the news.  I gave my favourite colleagues a card and watched in delight as they opened it and realised that I'm pregnant with you.  I smiled so much my face ached!  Everyone is very happy for us and was asking lots of questions.  Now I can look forward to next term with everyone's support at work which is much better than keeping secrets.  Your first Christmas soon!  Love you little one xxx

Hi there!

We saw you via ultrasound.  What an amazing experience!  You were there in my tummy, revealed and proof that you're real was unveiled on the screen.  I cried a lot.  You moved your arms as if to wave hello and then you turned around completely whilst I went to the toilet.  This confused me greatly and I thought that they had flipped the image around but they hadn't; you'd turned around.  Later we saw you clapping and dancing on your back.  You're beautiful and I can't wait to meet you x

Feeling better

Dear little one,
Are you still there?  I'm not feeling sick anymore and I'm not as tired.  It's strange that my symptoms have gone and it's making me worry that something's happened.  I remind myself though that everyday is a day closer to everything being ok.  20 days until I see you at the scan; we're both so excited!  There'll be more blood tests but I don't mind anymore - they're for a good reason.
I listened to Paul Simon's Graceland on the way to work, I want you to love it.  We'll dance together to it in the lounge next year and sing.
Love you x

First home

Evening little one.  Today we moved out of your first home and are now staying with Uncle Frank for three weeks while we wait to move into the first home you'll actually see.  It was emotional leaving the flat as it was the first place we had together.  The new home has a big garden and lots more room for all your things although it'll probably be a fleeting home as there isn't a room for you - we didn't know about you when we found it.
My baby app says you're the size of a raspberry now and eight weeks old with little toes.  You bits and bobs start forming this week, I wonder what you'll be!
Love always xxx

Hospital visit

So we had our first hospital appointment on Saturday and spent nearly two hours answering lots of questions, asking questions, trying to take me blood and all sorts of exciting baby things.  It was lovely talking about you with experts, we're both getting really excited now!
We have your first scan date, 6th December.  I can't wait to see you or maybe both of you - how incredible would that be?  If there were two of you in there...
You're the size of a blueberry now.
Every night I say goodnight to you and wish you well in there. Look after yourself little one xxx

Sesame seed

Hello little one.  How are you getting on?  My app says you're the size of a sesame seed and next week you'll treble in size to a grain of rice!  I'm obsessed with my app, every day it tells me something new about you.
The app has lists of popular names around the world.  I'm making girl and boy short lists, I know it's early but I can't help it.  I wonder what you are...
Wishing you well little one xxx

Heartbeat

This evening we watched Life Before Birth.  I think you're 20 days old today.  On the video it explains that your heart starts beating for the first time today.  It's amazing!  I watched and cried as I connected more with you.  I'm resting lots over the next fortnight for my Autumn half term holiday so no need need to worry, I'll be resting and keeping you safe little one X 

Life goes on

Life is going on around us.  No-one at work knows and I can't say, yet.  I want to scream it out loud.
I told my Dad and Liz yesterday and they were so very excited.  It was brilliant to hear that and to be excited with them too.
I feel like I'm carrying an egg through a train station during rush hour, keeping you safe from bumps and pushes.  It's scary.  Are you safe in there?  Are you OK?  Last night I was feeling pains in my lower stomach.  Was that you implanting?  Clinging on tight?

Finding out. Early days.

Hello.  Hello little one.  I've know about you for two days and I'm so worried about losing you.  I was very worried, always the worrier, about not being able to make you in the first due to my age (37) but here we are and with the first egg since I had my coil removed.  I can't believe it!  It feels like a miracle. 
I knew when I was ovulating but wasn't expecting it to work first time.  The books and websites say it could take 1-2 years at my age.  I'm so happy and buzzing with excitement.  I feel like I could burst and tell the world about you, my little one.  I can't though.  I have to keep you hidden away for a few months.  I have told my Mum and my brother and my best mates, Penny and Zoe.  I had to tell them; I'm so happy.
I've booked an appointment with the doctor for next Monday to talk about you and make sure everything's ok.  I'm excited about that too!  Sometimes I worry that my heart is racing due to being excited and that this may somehow hurt you.  I'm not running up or down stairs anymore and am being careful around the boisterous students at school. 
Finding out so early, two and half weeks along, is difficult.  I feel like I have to wait an eternity to meet you and find out that you're ok.  But it's actually a positive because I can make sure that I'm doing the best for you from a very early stage, I've given up caffeine and alcohol for instance.
I hope you're ok in there.  Keep safe and do what you need to do.
I love you x